


beautifully happy & painlessly romantic

by RenegadePack



Series: twilight other works [3]
Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Nostalgia, Regrets, reconnection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:55:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26016877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RenegadePack/pseuds/RenegadePack
Summary: "Everyone knows that you're my favorite girl. But there are some things in life that are not meant to be..."Twenty years after New Moon, Bella meets up with Jacob again.
Relationships: Bella Swan/Edward Cullen, Bella Swan/Jacob Black, Jacob Black/Original Female Character
Series: twilight other works [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1245545
Comments: 10
Kudos: 25





	beautifully happy & painlessly romantic

**Author's Note:**

> Canon compliant until the end of New Moon. Jacob left Bella's life after Edward's phone call. Everything with Bella/Edward happened as in the books, just without Jacob.  
> Title and description quote from "Good Life" by Francis Dunnery.

“Jake, please. I’m sorry. I have… I can’t let him hurt this way. I have to save him,” Bella said, frantically throwing a bag together. Alice met her at the top of the stairs, snatching the backpack out of her hands and shoving some clothes into it.

“He left you, Bella. He wouldn’t do the same for you,” Jacob said, running after them as they fled out the door. Alice was already in the car, the engine running with Bella’s backpack in the backseat. Bella turned to face him.

“I… I love him, Jake. I don’t care. I’m sorry. We have to go now.” Alice honked the horn as if to punctuate that statement. 

“No, you don’t. He’s not your problem anymore. You could be happy without him, if you tried.” He took her hands in his, pulling her close. Her head felt clearer, if only for a moment. “Stay with me. Stay with Charlie. With Angela and Quil and Seth and so many here that love you. Don’t throw that away for him again. Please, Bella, please. Let us love you.” Bella had nothing to say. Her head felt all jumbled again like in her car and in her kitchen, Jacob so close to her, her Jacob, her safe harbor…

But he wasn’t hers, not really. And she wasn’t his. She pulled away from him now.

“I’m sorry, Jacob. I don’t want to be happy without him.” She turned and ran towards the car. Alice had the door already open for her.

“Bella…” Jacob had nothing to add. 

“Take care of yourself!” Bella called just as the door slammed shut and the car pulled away. Her voice cracked on the last word. Jacob stood in the yard until the car was out of sight, praying it would turn around and she would run back to him full of apology and love and promises for their future. He knew it wouldn’t she had made her choice, and it wasn’t him. It never would be. Now it was time to make his. 

He stood outside until it started raining, a light drizzle that picked up as he ran inside. Charlie would be home soon, and he would have to explain where Bella was when he wasn’t even sure himself. He was never sure of her.

That was the last time she saw him. Their goodbye was agony; the pain clear in his eyes and voice. The way he begged her to choose him. At the time, it felt like his alone, as Bella was paralyzed with worry over Edward’s plans. If he would be successful, what he would do, why he was asking for this. It was only later outweighed by her happiness that he had really, truly chosen her. She had always chosen him. But missing her best friend was agony that couldn’t be erased.

Bella wasn’t so sure about her choice anymore. It didn’t feel the way it once did. Until she knew there was something else for her, she had wanted to be just like him. Anything it took to be with him forever. 

But that was before Jake came into her life. His warmth, his life, his shining eyes and bright smile that set her world on fire. It’s been so long since she felt warmth. But she made her choice. Her choice, always repeated like a mantra in her head. Jacob leaving: her choice. Charlie’s anger: her choice. Her friends leaving her one by one: her choice. Her life at risk from another vampire and Edward hurting her and marrying him anyway and leaving behind all she knew and eventually begging that her life and her daughter’s life be spared: her choice. Always her choice. She wouldn’t choose it anymore.

It’s been twenty years since she’s spoken to the person who was once the most important person in her life. Maybe he still is, but she doesn’t know him anymore. 

Edward doesn’t know she’s here. She would never tell him; he wouldn’t understand. The family left Forks during their honeymoon; her and Edward flew back to packed boxes and barely any chance to say goodbye. She only saw Charlie for long enough for a hug and a promise to call. 

Jacob didn’t come by. She wasn’t even sure he knew they were leaving. Charlie had probably told him, or Billy. But not her. Because she hadn’t chosen him, and your second choice, second best doesn’t want a goodbye. He deserved so much more than that, and someone who would give it to him. And Bella wasn’t her. 

So what was she doing in La Push now? This wasn’t her homeland anymore. She could only pray her presence wouldn’t do anything. She wanted to see him. See the small, red house that had been her second home, the beach that she loved for so long, the garage that she had so many happy memories in.

It looked so different. The house had been fixed up; another room added on. It looked beautiful. For just a moment, she pictured herself in the doorway, welcoming her children home from school. She pushed the thought out of her head. It wasn’t hers to dream about anymore. She had everything she had ever wanted.

It was down on the beach that she found him. It was a cloudy day, as it always was in Forks. And anywhere else she went. She missed the sun so much.

He was alone on the beach, his back towards her as he walked along the water’s edge. She couldn’t help remember all the times she was beside him, his hand in hers as they traced the water. It felt like another life. A better one.

“Jacob!” she called, jogging to him. He slowly turned, a wide smile spreading across his face.

“Isabella Swan,” he said, studying her.

“You and I both know it’s Bella,” she said, unable to fight her answering smile. She didn’t bother to correct the last name. It didn’t bother her, anyway.

“Sure, sure.” He crossed the beach and sat down on an old log. “What brings you all the way out here? Thought you were in London now.” Edward had spent the intervening years taking her to all the places she had read about. It was beautiful, and thoughtful, and she liked it. But she missed building a home, a library, sitting by the fire with a book and a cup of tea. It never felt quite right.

“We were. Are. I just… I missed home,” Bella answered. She stood in front of him.

“Bet it looks different,” Jacob said, staring out at the waves. 

“Not so much.” Bella couldn’t look away from him. “The house looks nice.”

“Really? Thank you! Had to add on a bit when I got married. Jenna put so much into fixing it up and lives for the compliments. I’ll be sure to tell her.”

“Married?” Bella asked. She didn’t know why she felt so surprised. It wasn’t like she was expecting him to wait for her.

“Been for over a decade now.” His smile was so wide, his eyes shimmering as he spoke of her. “I met her when some of Emily’s friends came down from the Makah reservation to celebrate her graduation.”

“Emily graduated?” Bella asked, grateful for the change in subject. She hadn’t kept up with anyone, and was kicking herself for it now. They had once been such a big part of her life. It should have stayed that way.

“She finally went to culinary school. Her and Sam own a bakery on the other side of town. Although he mostly stays home with the kids,” Jacob explained. He patted the log next to him. Bella stayed where she was, lost in memories that were trying to resurface.

“They must be doing well. Those muffins were amazing.”

“They truly are. I stop by for one every morning.” Jacob chuckled. 

“Wait, kids?” Bella asked, finally processing the rest of the statement.

“Yeah! After she graduated, and they got the shop started, her and Sam started trying to have kids. They eventually adopted triplets. The girls are about five now.”

“Wow. I’ve missed a lot, haven’t I?” Bella asked. She remembered all these people, faces and names that had opened up their arms for her in the darkest time of her life. And now she could barely picture them. She felt guilty.

“Eh, don’t feel bad, Vampire Girl. it’s been awhile,” Jacob said with a laugh. The old nickname stung in a different way now.

“Fair enough, Wolf Boy.” Bella sat next to him, careful to keep their skin from touching. Even still, she could feel his warmth.

“Excuse you, it’s Wolf MAN now,” Jacob said. Bella laughed along with him.

“Alright, fine, Wolf Man. Catch me up. What’s everyone been up too?”

Jacob settled back on the log, happy to talk about his friends and all they had accomplished. No one was phasing anymore; the need was long gone and they were all tired of it affecting their lives. Sam was a stay-at-home dad now, occasionally helping Emily run the bakery. She employed plenty of local kids in town, and helped at the local soup kitchen when she could donate leftovers.

Leah had left pretty soon after Sam’s wedding. The hurt was gone but she didn’t want to be near them anymore. She was happily in Seattle with her wife, working mornings in a coffee shop and afternoons as a yoga instructor. She hadn’t wanted kids but had quite the collection of pets - she was always bringing home strays. Jacob only saw her when she came to visit Seth and her nieces and nephews.

Seth’s wife had been a childhood friend; they had reconnected in college and been together ever since. They’re both teachers now with five kids - two girls and three boys.

Jacob himself had two kids now - a son and a daughter that both took after their mother, but had their father’s eyes and smile. He owned a garage, fixing and building cars for the people of Forks and La Push. It kept him pretty busy, but he loved it. He co-owned it with Quil and Embry, who had both finally quit hiding their feelings and started dating a few years ago. They were in the process of adopting a daughter.

Jared was still with Kim, although they had moved to California. Jake hadn’t kept up with them as much, but they were happy; Jared had become a vet and Kim was a writer. Jacob had her books back at the house; his kids loved them. Paul was the wildcard; he was often off touring with his band. He popped in once in a while with souvenirs and stories to share.

“Everyone’s doing well, Bella. It’s been good here,” Jake said, after Bella had run out of questions. She fidgeted with her fingers. It wasn’t absentminded; nothing was for her anymore. She had so many thoughts she couldn’t voice. All of them revolved around one thought: this could have been her life, if she had chosen differently. Baking with Emily and bringing food to Jacob at the garage, coffee with Seth and Leah and reading Kim’s books to her children, laughing at Paul’s adventures and feeling alive and safe and warm. She missed it.

“I’m glad. You all deserve it,” she finally said, after the silence had gone on too long.

“You do too, honey. How’s it been for you?” Bella had nothing to say. So much had happened to her in the last few decades, but none of it felt worth mentioning. It all felt like a movie, with the fantastic sights and fake stories and perfect, unchanging people. She missed change.

“It’s been fun. Edward and I have a daughter.”

“Hold on, what?” 

“Apparently, it’s possible. I was pregnant and gave birth to a half-human, half-vampire. She’s nineteen now, but looks like she’s stopped aging. We don’t really know how it works.”

“That’s… that’s not at all what I had expected.”

“Us too. But she’s amazing, truly. She’s the best part of my life.”

“Wow. So I guess you got everything you wanted, huh?”

“I didn’t get you.” Bella couldn’t stop herself. The words were out as soon as she thought them. Jacob opened his mouth, but said nothing.

“I’m sorry,” Bella said. “I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t come here to get you back.”

“Bella, you made your choice. It wasn’t me,” Jacob said slowly.

“Maybe it should’ve been.” She could’ve stopped herself this time, but she didn’t. She didn’t want to.

“Maybe,” Jacob agreed. Bella was surprised. She thought… she didn’t know what to think. “But I was never meant for you and you were never meant for me. I love Jenna more than I’ve ever loved anyone. And you love Edward more than anything. You proved that twenty years ago.”

“Jake.” Bella didn’t know what to say. It used to be so easy with him. But time changes so many things, even if she hasn’t. “I’m sorry I hurt you. You deserved so much better than that.”

“It’s okay. I know you never meant to.”

“I hated that I was hurting you.”

“I know. Such a martyr. But I’m so happy now, Bella. This is the life I was meant to have.” And she wasn’t in it.

“I thought about you so much over the years. I tried to reach out at first. But it seemed like you didn’t want me to. And I had hurt you so badly…”

“I couldn’t be your friend anymore. And you told me to take care of myself, so…” 

“So you did,” Bella finished for him. It was getting darker now; what they could see of the sun was slowly slipping under the horizon. The sky was alight with color. Bella watched them dance on her softly illuminated skin for a few minutes, listening to Jacob’s quiet breathing and steady heartbeat next to her.

“It really seems like you’ve built such a good life for yourself,” Bella said finally. 

“I have, Bella. I have. It’s good here. He stood up. “However, Jenna has been with the kids all day, and I need to help with dinner.”

“Right, right.” Bella stood up too. “Well, thanks for chatting with me. It was good to see you.”

“I’ll be sure to tell everyone you said hi.”

“I’d like that. I’ll be sure to keep in better touch.”

“You’re welcome to stay a bit. We’re having a group dinner tomorrow. Everyone would love to see you.”

“I should be getting back too. But thanks.”

“Of course, Bella.” He held out his arms for a hug. She hesitated, but wrapped her arms tight around him and tried to ignore how it felt like coming home at the end of a long day.

“Goodbye, Jake,” she said after letting go. She already missed the warmth.

“Bye, Bells.” He turned to walk away but stopped. “One more thing. Are you happy?”

She didn’t have an answer.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Come talk to me on Tumblr under the username renegadepack. There's also a bunch more Twilight content, including writing I don't post here and moodboards! I accept writing requests for your favorite ship, character, or group. I love any kind of message, long or short, about my work or anything! Have a great day. :)


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